This dumb-ass blog is turning out to be just another boring cat-4 blog. The gay niche that I wanted to corner is not getting enough exposure. How about a little cattiness?
1) ugly outfits:
Artemis, purple? what the hell?
DCVelo, too many freakin logos and shit.
Bike Lane, I hate the yellow warning triangle
2) cute outfits:
Route 1 finally decided to quit trying to look like NCVC and went with more black.
Battley-Harley, white outfits, nice. These guys kick everyone's ass and look super hot as they do it. They even got some dude with long hair, but not so long as to look like that dork at Ephrata in the cat-4 crit on Human Zoom.
ABRT, my sister told me "blue and green are never to be seen except in the washing machine." Clearly, she was wrong.
Haymarket, white AND argyle? someone's been watching queer eye for the straight guy or something.
3) hot studs in the peloton:
You pretty much see the same folks at all the races around here, so I'm going to start checking you boys out a little more closely and will come out with a palmares based entirely on looks, musculature and tan lines. And come on guys, it's May, so shave your damn legs or go ride your bike on MacArthur or something. This is bike racing.
4) chicks:
Ladies, please, do I need to wear a rainbow flag pinned to my jersey so you get the message? No, I will not go on a date with you.
15 comments:
You should add that stereotypical lisp to your posts also when you get catty. I enjoy the variety of posts from others so I do not think they are that boring. I can not wait to be a cat 3 with a boring posts ;-)
this is good stuff, fruitcake. keep it up.
Wow, a gay bike racer blog! Who knew! A friend of mine pointed this blog out to me. I think his thinking was that I'd be interested in a blog by a gay Cat 4 bike racer, since I'm a gay Cat 4 bike racer. But then again, he might have been surprised I didn't already know about it - I mean, we all know each other, right?!
In any case, I don't know whether to be happy or sad you didn't comment on my beautiful Racing Union kit - I mean, what can be more attractive then the green hammer man!?
Oh man I reread your critique about the guy with long hair on human zoom. He was cracking me up at memorial hall. He was so bouncy all over the place whenever putting out an effort. He rode like a little kid. Too funny you mentioned him, I had to check which team he was on.
I'm surprised you didn't comment on how 'dreamingly macho the beared Team Traveler rider was in the Cat4 Ephrata race, all decked out in his black/white zebra suit.
Kyle, I didn't mean to disparage others' blogs. In fact, I do find it interesting to read other people's take on races. i think I may just be tired of writing race reports and ending with "but I fucked up the finish so I got 16th."
Sorry Chris, I don't see you guys out there a lot. You must be flying under the radar, or "str8-acting" as our Craig's List friends like to say. That being said, maybe we DO know each other, from the Crew Club or something ;-)
Rayman, yeah that Elliott kid was indeed dreamy, and only 22 years old, woof! I'd say the zebra-print suit is kinda pretentious in a Cipollini sorta way, but considering he kicked everyone's ass, I suppose that's ok. Really nice guy too and turns out one of his high school friends is on a pro team, I forget who though. He was at the Tour de Georgia. A Kiwi. The cat-3s are lucky that he's going to spend the rest of the summer in Bolivia.
Greg, unlike NCVC or Coppi or whatever, there aren't a lot of us Racing Union folk (and I'm the token queer). Plus, it looks like I was in the 3/4 race while you were in the 4/5 race at Poolesville, so you wouldn't have seen me there I guess. (Talk about an epic event!) But, you've probably seen me somewhere - more likely Hains Point then Crew Club. :-)
I ride at Hains point in the middle of the day a lot, often I wear a Lambda Cycling Foundation outfit that says "Gay.com" across my butt. I think I may have seen you there last week, but I was riding so fast that I couldn't look at faces. I did the 3/4 too, for about a lap and a half.
Oh yeah, I remember seeing your butt! I should have put two and two together. I was riding behind you for a bit, wondering about the gay.com thing. I can't remember if that was the day where it was ungodly fast or just fast.
Now I'm seeing your last paragraph on the Poolesville report. I got caught by that same crash. Well, half the field did, so that's not so original. Ha! And I got a last place finish listed on the results as a booby prize for continuing to slog on with about 5 or 6 others trying to bridge - whoo freakin' hoo!
DCMTB-last year's kit was cleaner
Oh no you didn't!
1) The yellow warning sign is the shop's logo. They give us great deals so we can afford the shiny things we ride, so no one's complaining.
2) It's a diamond, not a triangle. Not all symbols have to be in the form of a triangle.
3) The black and red is hot. Why else would three teams have switched over to that combination this season? The market has spoken. Deal.
4) I guess we could just have a white jersey and put the names of our sponsors in plain black text, but that would be boring.
5) Regardless of the jersey, we're hot anyway.
-TBL Guy
Take my response with jest. I'm just a bitchy old queen. In regards to Team Jersey colors;
There needs to be more Red, White and Black! Not enough, I say. Only Bike Doctor, NCVC, Capital Hill/Rt1 Velo, HPC List, Bike Lane; Tranny, Tranny, Tranny, Tranny, Hot Mess!
Be f**king orignal already!
As for Artemis; At least you can see them in an ocean of RED and WHITE. I thought you'd like Pastel Lavender-FIERCE!(lol). The 'what the hell' phrase? Who are we "Kelly"?? (Youtube "shoes").
oh, and girl, you and Chris need to get a room. Enough with the flirting online thang.
Latitude seems to be leaning to the "Black with hints of Blue and Green" design this season-HOT MESS!
At least no one has Vomit Orange or (God forbid we blaspheme the Triangle) Pink. ;)
I'll stalk you at Bike Jam.
Enjoy.
Those shoes are mine bech.
I'm surprised you didn't give Bike Rack any props. They stick out nicely as well with their baby blues. I wonder if the owners have anything to do with this other shop called the Leather Rack on CT. Kelly... She sponsors bike teams too, can I borrow that top?
Post a Comment